Lauren & Brittney do Europe

Posts Tagged ‘drinking’

Karaoke

Thursday, May 6th, 2010

We’ve hit the 24 hour mark, and these last ones will be filled with packing (since I haven’t started, though at least all my clothes are finally clean) and cleaning and not hanging out with D-Bag because he’s GONE.  Perhaps I’ll touch on that later, perhaps I won’t, but at least if any tears were shed, they happened after our hallway parting in the solace of one’s empty, cold, clean laundry-strewn room.  Oh yes, that definitely does not not need to be touched upon.  Since my sheets are drying for my room-check later today, I slept on my couch last night and will again this evening.  And by couch, I mean half of a loveseat that wakes me up at 6:30 a.m. because of shooting back spasms and is no way fit to make one feel even remotely like sitting on a plane for a very long time very soon.

Last night I sang karaoke for the first time in my life– Backstreet Boys’ “I Want it That Way” AND Guns ‘n Roses’ “Sweet Child o Mine.”  The best part about these two songs, besides of course my obvious sobriety, was that I can sing them verbatim without the words on the screen.  This is especially helpful when one wants to really emote on stage, or if you were to say have the Sweet Child o Mine video memorized and want to swing the microphone by it’s cord during Slash’s last guitar solo, only to be verbally reprimanded by the German karaoke controller man.  My bad, sir.  My friend Katie also sang these with me so I didn’t feel like a complete fool, and there may be photos but I feel those are best left in the blackmail vault.

Is this my last post?  Am I supposed to come back with some sort of drawn out good-bye or a list of thank yous or multiple personal revelations about how studying abroad has changed my life?  I suppose I’ll save that for the plane, then give you one last nugget of wisdom so you know I’ve arrived safely.  In the meantime, get prepared for my triumphant return to blogging solo (the link is just a shameless plug to my other blog; like this one, only less direction, no Lauren, and more embarrassing self-promotion.)

I LOVE LISTS

Monday, May 3rd, 2010

Things I will miss upon my return to America:

1. Drinking in public.  Germany has no open-container laws; I’ve never bowed down to non-existent legislature before.  If we’re walking to bowling and someone hasn’t finished their beer, they can just take it with them!  How much better would the world be if we could all just pop a beer on the walk home after class instead of remaining sober for the entire journey?  Get your act together, Iowa.

2. Bakeries.  They’re on every single corner, and that is in no way an exaggeration.  It is completely acceptable to be eating bread at absolutely any hour of the day, in any venue or life situation.  Bus, bike, train?  Eating pastries, pretzels, bread rolls.  Before, during, and after meals?  More bread.  Class?  Carbs!  And no one here is 400 pounds!  Germans are CONSTANTLY EATING, something that will be sorely missed by yours truly.

3. D-Bag.  My neighbor, best buddy, and personal therapist– Darin.  I am 100% convinced I would have been mauled by a bear if it weren’t for him.  Knowledgeable from having already been here a semester, he graciously let me follow his every move and showed me the ropes of this sometimes scary, always foreign place.  While it would seem we have little in common save for our extreme sarcasm and general “I couldn’t give a shit less about 95% of the things happening around me if I tried” attitude, our oppositeness played nicely off each other and I’MGONNAMISSHIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. Sassy German women.  I’m speaking to the ones in the over 50-set– these women have spunk.  Also, while we’re on the subject of spitfire generations, there are plenty of extremely active elderly people (we’re talking geriatrics who have stories from the war) who ride the bus with me every day.  I’m continually amazed by them, mostly because I don’t plan on getting off the couch after I qualify for AARP.

5. Places only taking cash.  I spend so much less money not being able to swipe a plastic card every time I want to make a purchase.

6. To lump many other things together: the beer/ the beauty (everyone told me it’s such a beautiful country, but you don’t realize til you’re here HOLY SCHMOLIGANS that’s a pretty landscape)/ ubiquitous public transportation/ my Slovakian neighbor/ my running trails/ soft pretzels/ H&M/ learning the language.

7. Getting A’s on everything because I’m treated like a five-year-old.  This is perhaps just program-specific, but essentially if I showed up to class even half alive and turned in something by the end of the semester, I was received with heaps of praise.  If I were treated with such kid gloves at home, my grades would be far improved.  Now that it’s over (and as of 12:15 today, I am officially a senior in college) I can say I never got anything less than an A this entire semester.

Things I will not miss:

1. Getting stared at for being obviously foreign.

2. Having four roommates.

3. The entire country being shut down on Sundays/ weekdays after 6 p.m.

4. The language barrier

5. Being a slave to Skype/ Facebook/ Gmail if I want to talk to people from home

6. The USD to Euro conversion rate

7. Germans’ obsession with mayonnaise, their lack of spicy food, and their refusal to acknowledge barbecue sauce as a condiment

8.  Paying for water.  FREE REFILLS, here I come.  Also, paying to pee in public.  I’ve probably spent more money so I wouldn’t pee my pants than I have on beer.  (That was a blatant lie, but I feel a strong comparison was needed to show how unjust I find spending 30-70 cents just to save my insides.)

I’m looking forward to: gas station fountain soda, tortilla chips and salsa, movie theater kettle corn, spicy chicken wings, and Oasis’ falafel and hummus.  Sorry, NPH, but it will be a long, long time before I crave bratwurst again.  Ooh, maybe a nice steak though.  And funfetti cake.  Dammit, I probably shouldn’t be writing this list while hungry.

Some more Bavaria

Monday, April 19th, 2010

Saturday night we went to a town over and drank with some friends before going to a “Spring Break” party at some random ass club in literally the middle of nowhere.  As in: field field field SHED WITH DISCO MUSIC field field.  It wasn’t exactly my idea of a great time—wall to wall bodies, nay, wall to wall German bodies dancing and singing along to techno and German rap and smoking and being quite odiferous.  Sebas’ German friends kept asking about America, “Is this like it is in America?” and practicing their English with me.  They all wanted to know if I’d been on a real “Spring Break” and do I watch Jersey Shore and is this the same music you listen to in America?  Their supermarket recently got guys to bag your groceries because “That’s how they do it in America.”  Um yeah, and we also waste thousands of bags through this process.

Oh, random side note: at bars and clubs here, it is commonplace to have “Go-Go Dancers” shaking it on a platform.  We were sitting at a restaurant/ bar on Friday night and then BAM, blonde woman wearing Lucite heels, leg warms, underwear, some sort of spangly belt thing, and a see-through top climbs atop this table, and suffice it to say some waxing place in town must be doing a lot of business.  To her credit, homegirl was in SHAPE, nary a wobbly bit moving out of place as she did a lot of, I don’t know, troucing and bending.  It was as if she were picked to be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader but then got kicked off over a nude photo scandal, she was just so damn happy about it the whole time.  Probably coke.  Anyway, there were also some at the “Spring Break” party, but at least they didn’t discriminate and gave the ladies and gays in the audience something to ogle.  At one point, the male go-go dancer on the left stage turned from the crowd so his female counterpart could pull down his pants, share with the crowd his glorious behind (do you think they all go to the same esthetician?), then spray him down with some sort of water gun.  My German peers could not understand why I was a bit um, taken aback by this, because “Don’t you know that’s no big deal here?”  I’m not sure if a woman essentially putting herself on a gyno-patient relationship with me will ever not be a big deal.

On Saturday, two Italian students arrived that Sebas’ family will host for a week while they did a mini-exchange.  I knew more German than them; I’m pretty proud.  His family continuously commented on how much my German has improved since I visited at the end of January.  They were very impressed at how much I’ve picked up in just three months time; his mother spoke to me exclusively auf Deutsch, thus I think she likes me.  On Sunday, she fixed a HUGE lunch of pork steak, BRATWURST with my favorite mustard in the world, rolls, salad, and Magum ice cream bars.  The family thinks it’s hilarious how much I like that damn condiment, and they find it humorous to feed me til I can’t move.  Not that I put up a huge fight.  After lunch, Sebas showed them his yearbook that I brought back after Spring Break (only four years after the fact) and they thought it was amazing.  His 14-year-old sister was beyond impressed at the cheerleaders.  His mom gave me a coffee cup with a picture of the Danube and Regensburg’s cathedral to remember the town by.  AND THEN—get this—while I was packing my things upstairs, she made up a sack dinner for me to take on the train.  How awesome is this woman!?  As if I hadn’t eaten enough brats at lunch to keep me satiated until I leave the country, she made me a sandwich with an apple, banana, bottle of water, bottle of apple juice, and three little Nutella candy things.  We then all shook hands/ awkwardly cheek-kissed/ hugged good-bye and they told me I’m always welcome, whenever I’m in Europe.  I very much like being semi-adopted by a German family.

The first of a few on Munich

Sunday, April 18th, 2010

After my arrival on Thursday afternoon, we went to the store to stock up on beer and bratwurst.  Thousands of miles apparently have no effect on my grocery list.  Sebas grilled up Nurnburger brats which we had on hard rolls with my FAVORITE MUSTARD in the world.  I am returning to the states with three bottles and a tube of this mustard; it’s occupying prime real estate in my luggage.  With our case of beer I got a free Paulaner Hefeweiss Bier glass that plays the Paulaner jingle when clinked in a cheers or “Prost!” with another.  He lives in barracks (or perhaps just a dorm of servicemen?) so soon I found myself drinking with many insanely jacked members of the German Army.  They were all very friendly and thought I was the shit, a common feeling people experience when in my presence.  The weather was ridiculously nice all weekend, so I was a bit sad that we went inside on Friday to visit the Deutsches Museum.  I suppose it was cool, but it wasn’t about Germany so much as a museum of technologies throughout history?  Trains, planes, the printing press, mining, metals–  meh, not exactly my cup o’ tea.  But then we got ice cream, the first of four times I had ice cream in three days, so be jealous.

We went to Sebas’ hometown about an hour outside the city that night, after getting stuck in a RIDICULOUS traffic jam on the Autobahn.  Apparently this happens every single day, so while in most parts it’s true there is no speed limit, good luck on finding an open enough stretch of road where you can actually take advantage of it.  Saturday was the nicest day of the year yet weather-wise so we visited the Walhalla.  I’m going to have to direct you to Google on this one—some famous guy built this massive Grecian-looking temple to honor the gods on a hill overlooking the Danube River.  One word: spectacular.  I didn’t realize how much hillier/mountainous Southern Germany is than the part I’m used to.  HOLY AMAZING SCENERY, Batman.  Bavaria is hands down the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen in the world—the views were indescribably fantastic.  I took lots of pictures, but they don’t nearly do it justice.  We continued our scenic tour of the Bavarian countryside in Sebas’ BMW Z4 convertible (I have heard so much about this f@#$ing car.  I’ve seen the engine, know the horsepower… Is there a girl in the world who could care less? Probably not.  But it was a nice ride and oh baby does she go fast.  We did some math on kilometers to miles and at times we were apparently going 156 MPH.)  I only thought my life was in peril at oh, every turn, but at least I was sippin’ on a McDonald’s milkshake—strawberry for yours truly, chocolate for my chauffeur.  We drove around the farm country for a couple of hours.  Tiny villages of just a few houses and a church or two (they’re quite Catholic  down south) would be every mile or two, with larger farms between.  They happened to be spreading manure that day so the smells didn’t really match the picturesque sights, but it sure did remind me of Iowa.

In which I get a bit hostile at the natives

Saturday, April 10th, 2010

Complete and total academic apathy has set in for all members of my study abroad program.  I’ve given up on learning any more of the German language and will consider it a Life Win if I am present for the remainder of my classes.  I’ll perhaps save the rant on why track classes are a complete waste for another time (if I wanna learn German, spending an hour having casual conversation with my roommates will teach me more than four weeks of classroom busy work.  The other week we were introduced to the Genetiv verb tense by my teacher saying, “We don’t actually use this anymore, but you still have to learn it.”  OH OKAY.)  The countdown to home is now in weeks instead of months, and I waffle daily on how I feel about this.  It seems the longer I’m here, the more hostile I get with the natives, and if I unapologetically get the German Stare one more time while doing something completely harmless to them, I PROMISE YOU I WILL GET VIOLENT.

Yesterday after our requisite weekly testing, we played some volleyball outside then came in for some good old-fashioned drinking games.  I volunteered my WG and perfectly sized kitchen table for some beer pong even though there’s really nothing I hate more in this world than that wretched game and thus didn’t actually participate.  My flatmate situation has changed drastically since the beginning of the year– I’m now living with two German girls, a German guy, and a Brazilian girl (woman?  They’re all my age or older, I suppose the proper term is “female.”)  This batch is about a million times more uppity than the last ones (two are the same) and are cleaning ALL THE TIME and tell me how dirty the bathroom is and made a chore chart with all of our names on it.  You read that correctly.  It’s like I’m in second grade and if I get 100 gold stars I get a trip to Disneyland.  This week I’m on trash duty, and absolutely want to burn this place to the ground, if I can just be honest about my feelings.  This chore chart combines so many of my least favorite things into one seemingly harmless but actually Satan-sent piece of cardboard: 1. CLEANING; 2. Community, sharing, getting along with others; 3. CLEANING.  I realize my deeply-ingrained hatred for all things orderly is the point of the chart in the first place, but what kind of Type A anal-retentive European sat down with a glue stick, Sharpies (they spelled my name wrong, perhaps a large source of this angst) and decided that five adults couldn’t just take care of their own shit?  I’m fairly certain a majority of the German population would drop dead if they saw the living conditions at 713.  Cleanliness is definitely a huge cultural difference, even when comparing it to normal households and not the barely live-able house of five college guys.

ANYWAY, so after beer pong, we were looking forward to some schnitzel and Pommes at the Mensa for dinner, but turns out they don’t serve it on Fridays.  We went into Am Sande to get Döner and gelato, then went to an outdoor bonfire/birthday party for some of the Erasmus (non-German European study abroad program) students.  While oddly cold out, it was a pretty great time, and we witnessed yet didn’t actually try Spanish s’mores.  Ok, not really s’mores at all, but it involves open flame and a stick, so the Americans thought Aha! marshmallows.  It was actually some sort of bread dough brought out in saucepans, and then they’d take some and smear it on the end of the stick (which had been kind of pre-cleaned and cut?  But not enough to where a German would eat it HA.)  It took a while, but the bread would eventually puff up and cook and it was kinda like a breadstick.  I did attempt this, but apparently used too much dough and caused a giant doughy mess on my hands and the stick and the fire– just step away from the carbs, Brittney.

Today we finally satisfied our burrito cravings in  Hamburg, and I was able to clear out my pollen-clogged sinuses thanks to the Diablo Habanero salsa.  It was good, but not nearly as spicy as something labeled similarly in America would be (Germans DON’T do spicy.)  Afterward we went to Hamburger Dom, this carnival type thing that comes around like four times a year.  It’s basically the Iowa State Fair with only the light-up, spinny rides and food stands, only the food stands here are way better because it’s German food and every other one sells some sort of beer, pastry, or wurst.  I got my hands on perhaps the highlight of my life here so far– Mazipankuchen, essentially a  marzipan-filled frosted donut.  Holy diabetes, Batman– it was so hot and melty and oily and sugary and amazingly almond-ly delicious.  Imagine the last time you enjoyed being naked with another person, take that times 100, and it MIGHT be what this tasted like.  I just tried to upload a picture of it, but apparently WordPress only wants to work for Lauren, thus I will just tell you to click here for the Facebook album it’s in.

Writer’s block, this is what came out

Friday, April 9th, 2010

Apparently I’m allergic to pollen.  This week has been a nice seesaw between extreme congestion and Snot Fest 2010.

The Hausmeister decided to finally show up and do something about the leaky bathroom situation.  There is some sort of industrial-sized dryer in there now trying to undo some of the water damage, and under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are we to go in there or open the door or even peek through the keyhole or God forbid shower.  All five of us are vying for time and space in our other bathroom, but for some reason we’re not allowed to use the shower.  This created quite the mini-conundrum when I got back from my run (in the heat of the day.  In all black) yesterday.  Now I can stand my own stink, but I had plans to go into public later.  Thankfully my beautiful Slovakian neighbor recently returned from his glamorous Easter holiday of snowboarding and cross-country skiing in the mountains of his home country, and he graciously let me use his WG’s shower.  Hopefully the monstrous bathroom machine is not emitting anything reminiscent of Chernobyl because you’d better believe I broke the rules and sneaked in to grab my comb and towel.

Tomorrow is our final in Intermediate German I.  Intermediate German is HARD.  I am not exactly looking forward to Intermediate II, but it’s three credit hours in only three weeks so I’m gonna tough it out (and curse the language heavens along the way.)  The amount of homework I have to do this weekend is ridiculous.  Granted, I’m finishing a few projects ahead of time since they’re due right when I return from Munich next weekend (!!!) but essentially I’m looking at lots of time chained to my desk this weekend.  With a break for Qrito Burrito Take Two, of course, because it turns out we never got there on Monday.  The buses are in a nasty habit of coming early, and unfortunately Matt missed the bus which then caused us to miss the train to Hamburg.  Not wanting to wait around for an hour for the next one, we walked back into town and got some “snack boxes” at a Chinese place.  Thankfully we didn’t go for actual entrees because Holy bland non-descript food, Batman.  Less than satisfied, and bored and looking for adventure on Easter Monday, we set off in search of a Brazilian bar he’d heard of one time in passing that doesn’t serve beer, only really good cocktails with lots of fruit.  We got some very ambiguous directions from his roommate and actually found it, but it didn’t open until 7 and it was only 5:30, dammit.  Not being a quitter, we got some road beers (thing I’ll miss most: no open container laws) and strolled around town.

If you haven’t noticed a theme in my posts yet or had the privilege of spending more than an hour with me, let me clue you in that my bladder is perhaps the size of a pea.  We don’t know why this is, ’tis my cross to bear.  Of course I found myself on Monday in a place I’ve been far too many times before– in desperate search of a bathroom, no relief in sight.  To his credit, Matt offered to stand vigil beside a bush or something, but in a last ditch effort to scrape together some sort of dignity, I decided I could make it across town to the McDonald’s.  While I’m sure it’s not kosher to walk into Mickey D’s here just for use of their toilets, this is the one time I will proudly pull out and wave around my American card, nary a guilty glance toward the Dollar (erm, Euro) Menu as I walk out basking in sweet relief (literally.)

ANYWAY– we finally made it to the bar, an ancient, dusty, dimly-lit place that kinda looked straight outta Knockturn Alley.  There was a completely bald, bespectacled bartender; a regular of about 50 seated opposite him; an eight-year-old girl to his left; and our waitress– a barely five foot, 107-year-old chain smoking Portuguese woman who maybe weighed 80 pounds.  This woman is fabulous.  She came off and started rambling German to us, none of which we understood, probably because she could barely see over our table.  We ordered our cocktails– a “Zombie Classic” for me and a “Zombie Brasil” for Matt, and waited an inordinate amount of time.  The wait was worth it, however, because these babies came packed with fresh fruit and BOY HOWDY were they strong.  Probably the best 7 Euro I’ve spent here.  Our favorite waitress of all time also brought over a bowl of crackers that actually tasted like potato chips but were shaped like dragons.  Those damn Brazilians.  We may have ordered an Absinthe cocktail or two after that– not fodder for a public blog if we did.

The 21 only ordnance in Iowa City officially goes into effect on my 21st birthday.  Whether or not a deal with the Devil was made on that one, you’ll probably never know.

Ostern Wochenende

Monday, April 5th, 2010

Props to Germany for making Easter a four day holiday.  Today is Ostern Montag so I slept in til noon, went on a long run, and have been quite productive in cleaning the apartment before my flatmates return (dun dunn duhhhhh.  Not looking forward to that.  Pretty certain I was meant to live alone.)  Any second now I’ll be starting my homework… after I return from an extended trip to Hamburg just for a burrito, of course.  There’s a place called Qrito Burrito that’s essentially Germany’s Pancheros (or Qdoba, or Chipotle.)  It’s interesting  to get all the Americans together and discuss our preferences in these different establishments.  Being from Iowa City, I’ve gotta rep Panch– shout out to Reid if you’ve stumbled upon this in your Internet patrol of all things tortilla related, how creepy am I?!– though my father swears by only Qdoba, and one student is counting down his days til America just so he can hop off the plane and land face first into some Taco Bell.

I am quite looking forward to the country resuming actual working hours tomorrow though because our WG has a bit of a situation and I have zero idea how to deal with it.  The bathroom is, for lack of a better term, flooding.  It started on Thursday with a weird dripping sound that I thought was maybe the heater, so obviously ignored it until the next day when it was quite obvious there was liquid (let’s hope just water) leaking from the ceiling.  My solution was to put down a towel and go about my day.  Flash forward to today where we have three soaked towels and ever-increasing water spots on the ceiling.  D-Bag and I have hypothesized that whoever lives above me most likely committed suicide in the tub and it hath spilled over, or– since bathtubs are a luxury not afforded to us lowly students– someone was doing dishes, had an aneurysm, and died with the water running.  Clearly our imaginations are feeling quite morbid.  SO, if none of my flat mates return today to make the phone call to the Hausmeister, I will be looking up the German word for “flood” and making a trek to the housing office when it opens tomorrow.

I’m not a huge fan of Bucket Lists, but if I had one, I could check off “attend Easter service in a 500-year-old church where Bach played.”  The flow of the service was freakishly similar to any other Lutheran one back home, though there was much less fanfare for the holiday part of it.  For being a country where everyone dresses up WAY more on a daily basis than back home, they sure left their Sunday best in the closet for Easter.  I felt like the town whore (keep your comments to yourself, please) in my just-above-knee-length aubergine American Apparel wrap dress– ESPECIALLY when I went up for communion and ended up standing smack in the middle of the aisle in front of the entire congregation (they do it standing in a circle, I can explain in greater detail to interested family members later) for a good five minutes.  I don’t think I can properly convey the anxiety and trauma induced by this situation.  Apparently I was the only one sufficiently embarrassed by my exposed knees however, as no one said anything, and one elderly German woman even smiled and nodded at me like, “Of COURSE you’re foreign and awkward, but we as a collective people will let it slide as it is an international holiday.”  Danke very, very much kind old lady.

You’re probably wondering how my Easter dinner turned out, as if it were to go off as anything but AWESOME.  My friend Matt (from Las Vegas, turns out we’re kinda soulmates) came over and made hamburgers with me.  The Mensa every day turns out cuts of meat with vegetables and potatoes of some sort with gravy, so there was a game-time decision to make it super casual and just grill (read: fry) hamburgers instead of recreating an actual American Easter dinner.  I’m quite certain I’ll never ever get the smell of greasy ground beef outta my WG, but in retrospect it’s all worth it.  The Bavarian pretzel appetizers and chocolate lava cake with vanilla sauce desserts were leagues better than the actual main course, but dammit if we didn’t have fun in the process.  Matt even brought over a six-pack of Becks because “You sounded sad” (the whole roof caving-in thing) so I’m quite boldly going to say we had the best Easter meal of my whole 20 years.  That evening my father did Skype me in on the entire two hour Easter dinner happening at our house, however, so it was really the best of both worlds.

Not to get you all excited with a teaser, but get mentally prepped for the next post in which Matt and I eat Chinese food then break-in the only Portuguese bar in Luneburg that refuses to serve beer, only fresh fruit-heavy cocktails.  The closer it comes to leaving, the more attached I get.

Copenhagen

Monday, March 29th, 2010

Warning: upon review, this is kinda long.  Perhaps grab a snack or prepare to read it in installments.

Oh, Denmark.  Perhaps the quote from our trip that could best sum up the experience was when Greg (formerly New England, but I feel these pseudonyms are not only confusing but pretty unnecessary) asked us something along the lines of “What would you do if you had one wish?”  David’s answer, “Have enough money so I wouldn’t have to travel around Europe like a hobo,” served as oddly perfect foreshadowing for our less than 48 hours in Copenhagen.

Our bus to Denmark didn’t leave until 11:30 pm from Hamburg on Friday, so a group of us took the train in early to get Qrito Burritos, Deutschland’s version of Pancheros/Qdoba/Chipotle.  Not as good, but darn tasty anyway.  The SECOND D-Bag (his nickname stays because it’s starting to catch on.  And because it’s slightly inappropriate) and I step out the door, the heavens unleash what I can only assume was Germany’s first hurricane.  My umbrella didn’t stand a chance against the freak amounts of water blowing sideways at me, but I wasn’t as pissed about that as I was I had straightened my hair earlier, obviously now in vain.  We managed to wade our way to Hamburg and eventually to the bus stop, soaked and frozen to the core, but pretty excited about our upcoming adventure anyway.  We waited at the stop that said “COPENHAGEN” and tried to board the bus that said “COPENHAGEN” when it arrived, but you forget Dear Reader, this is Europe, thus nothing is ever that simple.  Some Italian woman two cig puffs away from a tracheotomy yelled in broken German that we actually wanted the bus that said “STOCKHOLM” and would magically drop us off in Denmark.  Luckily there were at least 20 other people getting the same direction, so we took faith in numbers and boarded the bus.  The very. crowded. bus.  Sitting next to any of my three amigos was immediately out of the question, so I plopped myself next to a stranger (I’m thinking Danish, approximately a year or two older than me) for the next five hours and hoped to God sleep would come quickly.  Do you know what I didn’t notice about this young man when I chose him as a seat partner?  His abnormally large ass.  Such an ample body part that, when turned to his right to sleep on the window like he did, took up half of my lap.  I won’t take you into a chronological history of my presumed psychological problems, but if there’s one thing the world knows I’m not a fan of, it’s another human coming into physical contact with me.  Do. Not. Touch Me.  Obviously something was going to have to change, so I shifted to my right as well to provide even an iota of neutral air between our hot, mashed up flesh.  It was not comfortable, but we were not touching, thus eventually I fell asleep.  I slept while spooning that Dane.

Quick question: did you know Copenhagen is not on regular Denmark, but in fact some sort of island/peninsula part that requires water-crossage to get to?  If you did, you’re smarter than me.  Imagine my surprise when we were woken halfway into our journey because our bus had pulled into the belly of a FERRY and we had to go up to the oddly cruise ship-like decks during the 45 minute crossing.  It was all quite Twilight Zone-ish, and needless to say I got much less than the five hours of sleep that night I was gunning for.  At a little after 5 am, we arrived in a dark and drizzly Copenhagen, looking and feeling mere heartbeats from death.  Rich enough to not travel like a hobo, indeed.  We hung out in the train station for a while, making game plans and trying to figure out the best way to procure Danish Kroner (because they don’t use the Euro.  Put that little nugget of info in the Things Brittney Didn’t Know Before She Got There column also.)  Our best plan was to find the hostel we’d booked to see if we could drop our stuff off/ check in as quickly as possible and SLEEP.  Using subway maps in Danish and some Internet kiosk Googling, we set off in… completely the wrong direction.  Of course we didn’t find this out until at least an hour after we’d walked toward absolutely nothing of use to us.  I can’t even really say I got to witness a Danish sunrise because the RAIN AND SLEET CLOUDS were taking up most of the sky.  So it’s about 6:30 am, we’re a group of four ever-increasingly soaked American students with backpacks, bleary eyes, not a clue in the world as to where we’re headed, and we all have to pee.  For my comrades, anatomy served them well and facilitated their bladder evacuations without much ado.  I was searching for alleys, bushes, really anything with even slight cover to go ahead and commit my public urination (if you think this was an isolated event during our Danish stay, you are so mistaken.)  Finally along the harbor I see some low-walled children’s playground and have a mental struggle that ends with D-Bag telling me to just man and up and do it.  So I did it.  Where children play.  I am so sorry, children.  It was in a far corner in a very non-child friendly area anyway, so my moral compass isn’t losing too much sleep over this, and afterward it was actually very liberating like Huzzah– I’m one step closer to actual homelessness!

I’ll spare you the epic trek to our hostel, except to thank 7-11 for it’s straight up invasion of Denmark, thus providing us with cheap(ish) coffee and breakfast while getting absolutely dumped on by rain.  I don’t get that wet in the shower.  To say we got some strange looks when we FINALLY (3.5 hours after getting off the bus) arrived at our desired destination would be an understatement.  Thankfully the hostel guys were really cool and invited us to chill on the couches until our rooms were ready, which we did and I got in a quick nap.  We were able to drop off our bags in lockers and explore town; while still overcast, the rain had thankfully ceased.  Copenhagen’s a really beautiful city, much dirtier trash-wise than Germany, and very Americanized.  Absolutely everyone speaks English, and there are many more American shops and restaurants.  Danes are much more laid back then the Germans, and seem freer to express themselves in how they dress, how loudly they talk, etc.  The very best part of Denmark: THEY TAKE CREDIT CARDS.  This is especially good because Copenhagen was oddly expensive, and the 10 dkk to 1 Euro thing made it seem like I was withdrawing ridiculous amounts of money if I needed to go to an ATM.  We ate lunch in an Irish Pub where I ordered the BBQ ribs and may or may not have eaten alley cat for the first time in my life.  That night we did more of the same– enjoying the lack of open container laws and engaging in general shenanigans.

On Sunday, D-Bag and I headed off to the Track Cycling World Championships.  This kid is an insane cyclist so was obviously far more stoked for the activity than I was, but I figured it’d be a cool change of pace, not to mention I don’t often get to hang out in an arena full of Olympians.  I learned more about biking, especially of the track variety (the bikes don’t have brakes so there’s no coasting– every turn of the wheel is because their MASSIVE THIGHS are pedaling) than anyone might ever need to know.  It was actually really interesting and fun to watch, and a 17-year-old American won third place in something.  My feet were absolutely ready to fall off from two days of straight walking and standing because oops I haven’t mentioned that my choice of footwear for the weekend was a pair of ballet flats (read: no support.  At all.  Essentially barefoot.)  Family members, please spare me your e-mails– yes, I am a dumb ass, my feet were in SO. MUCH. PAIN.  My blistered pinkie toes are probably the worst.  Apparently while running I’ve also done some damage to my right calf and that screamed at me the entire day, especially when going up or down stairs.  Oh, and my left arm feels like it’s been shot because D-Bag and I played Dead Arm and needless to say I lost (after one punch.  He claims I punched him later that night like six more times in the arm, but he’s thoughtful enough to not give me the requisite six in return.)  At the end of our journey yesterday, my mood took a nose dive and I wanted to go home NOW.  Not like Germany home, but my big bed in America, why can’t I just drive a car, where the hell is NPH, put me on a plane HOME home.  I realized this was all due to lack of sleep and managed to not flip shit on anyone around me, though now that I’m back in Germany things are looking up.

IN CONCLUSION: I feel kinda like I’ve been hit by a car.  Copenhagen was really wonderful, though not a place I feel I could hang out for more than a day or two.  It’s super expensive and there just generally isn’t THAT much to do, but a really pretty city with amazing scenery of the North Sea and a nice juxtaposition of super old buildings and really modern architecture.

Hey all you Facebookin’ family members: click here for my pictures from the trip.

Lauf machen

Saturday, March 20th, 2010

Sorry to hear there’s snow back home– definitely not any here (knock on wood..)  It’s  been overcast and slightly misting all day, the perfect weather for my first outdoor run of the season!  …oh baby am I outta shape.  My legs already hurt, and I didn’t exactly go a marathon distance.  While out on my non-characteristic spurt of physical activity, I stumbled upon some sort of Holy Grail nature preserve in almost literally my backyard that put the woods in Iowa to shame (again, Mom– you might want to start working on your German citizenship now.)  There is a wide (and clear!) creek and wooden benches and trails and TALL trees and little bushes and lots of wet, leafy underbrush that goes on for acres.  You could be naked for quite a while in the area and never get caught– it’s not thick with fauna, it’s just so BIG.  After my body said “eff that” to the whole quickened pace thing, I wandered around the trails for a bit, never seeing another person save for the tree fellers (sorry) at one clearing.  Eventually I figured I should find my way back to some sort of civilization, not hard to do once I got onto the big main trail.  This is where I wouldn’t exactly say I was “lost” more as I was “pleasantly unsure of where my home was.”  There was no cause for alarm, though I was a bit surprised when I realized I had gone outside of city limits.  I made it back fine, though not without eliciting some full-on stares from my fellow Saturday morning pedestrians.  I should learn how to say “Don’t be alarmed, I’m not actually about to fall over dead from a heart attack, my face just naturally turns this bright red every time I run” auf Deutsch.

One of my flatmates popped in for about three minutes today to, I don’t know, make sure the American could actually be trusted with the place on her own.  He informed me he wouldn’t back til April when their school break is over (question: can I eat their food??), which I’m more than a little excited about because this whole living solo and playing German house thing has been pretty great.  In his absence, his room is unlocked in case I wanna borrow any of his movies.  He is so my new favorite.

Yesterday a group of us Yankee students went into Hamburg for some window shopping and HOFBRAUHAUS DRINKING!!!  Before I get to the obvious best part of my day, props to my three guy friends who followed me around to… 4? 5? maybe 6 stores before I found an inexpensive yet cute purse.  The weather’s getting nice enough that my coat pockets can no longer hold my camera/ cell phone/ bus pass/ wallet/ gum/ Kleenex, and being the sketch backpack girl everywhere isn’t really my thing.  I finally found one I liked for less than 20 Euro so that beast came home with me.  Hamburg has A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. shopping.  I die.  SO many beautiful things, so little time, even less money.  Did the EU meet up a while back and say, “Hey, let’s charge ridiculous amounts of money for normal things!”  Germany, you are killing me.  Not that I’m dirt poor over here or need any of these things,  but more than once I had the thought, “Man it’d be great if <insert name of someone who has lots of money to shower me with gifts> was here?”  At least all of this window shopping worked up a bit of an appetite, so off we strode to ZE HOFBRAUHAUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  They have one in Hamburg, not as great as the one in Munich, better than the one in Vegas (some people collect figurines, I visit beer halls.)  Two more friends had joined us by this point in our journey and we all had a liter of Bier and Brezels (regular sized, unfortunately.)  The waiter originally brought out liters for the four guys at the table, and HALF liters for me and the other girl in our party.  Excuse me, Sir– I’m not sure who you think I am or where I come from, but I assure you I can handle the big one, thankyouverymuch.  Luckily he asked when he brought the littles one if we’d prefer what’d we ordered (um, yes) so the change was made without too much bodily harm.  The NERVE.

Das Wetter ist sehr Nett

Thursday, March 18th, 2010

IT’S SO GORGEOUS OUTSIDE. I’m not one to usually get all hot and bothered by outdoors stuff, but after this winter (which the US Embassy informed us was one of the worst in Germany’s history) I just want to live outside.  The giant sports field about ten feet from my front door is finally drying out so we can spend our days and nights playing soccer.  It’s not even noon on Thursday and my weekend has started, I will definitely not be toiling away inside at my laptop.  My flatmates have all mysteriously disappeared, glamorous ski vacations in the Alps and such during their time off from school, but you will hear no complaints of this from me.  Spring is reminding me of Easter, which is oddly reminding me of my grandmother’s house (shout-out to Lin!)  We get a solid four days off for the holiday and methinks D-Bag and I will be heading to Dresden/ some of the smaller surrounding towns.  Sometimes I get really anxious that I haven’t been tons of places while abroad, but I like Lauren’s approach that I’m here so I’m going to explore here instead of trying to pack a bunch of 48 hour trips across the continent.

Germans don’t celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, but that in no way stopped us Americans from donning green and getting betrunken on a Wednesday.  We went to the local Irish Pub, which thankfully was also celebrating and had the green beer a-flowin’.  They were also giving out giant cloth Guinness top hats and had green “Tullamore Dew” streamers hanging from everything.  I now have a giant pile of these on my floor thanks to people draping them around my neck, making bracelets out of them, etc.  The hats were in hot demand and we nearly sparked an international incident trying to snag another before we left, but I’m proud to say one did manage to make it back with us, which D-Bag let me keep (or perhaps I’ve taken it hostage.)  There was some Irish guy with a guitar singing songs; he played some Neil Young, Lynrd Skynrd, and after asking the crowd for requests (big mistake) some Guns ‘n Roses.  Either he was drunk and sad or wanted the crowd to settle because “Simple Kind of Man” and “Patience” aren’t exactly party tunes in my book, but the crowd’s back-up vocals helped to liven them up, I guess.

I only have SIX WEEKS of class left which I’m sure will fly by.  Not exactly stoked about leaving Germany, getting back on Monday was a huge sigh of relief.  My body has fallen right back into my German sleep schedule, and as soon as I deplaned for my layover in Amsterdam my brain took hold of the language again.  Yesterday I met with my Sprachpartnerin (speaking partner) for the first time and we had a bilingual lunch.  Her English is much better than my German, but she was very patient with my “I know I know this word but I’m completely blanking out because I’ve never actually had to speak freely in German before” pauses.  My  brain hurt afterward, not to mention I was still wanting to say everything in Spanish.  We’ll meet up a few times before I leave, and if you’re wondering, I VOLUNTARILY signed up to get a speaking partner.  I do believe a pat on the back is in order for stepping out of my comfort zone.

Oh, after my creepy Senatorial stalking, the rest of my trip back was pretty uneventful.  I was less than thrilled to be sitting between two people on the 7.5 hour trip from Detroit to Amsterdam, but luckily miracles do happen and I didn’t have to get up once.  I watched The September Issue (documentary about “Vogue” and Anna Wintour– LOVED) and Paper Heart (lame pseudo-documentary about love I only watched because Michael Cera’s in it.  It was boring and his ex-gf who stars in it absolutely annoys the shit outta me.)  I got to sleep maybe four or five hours, mostly I’m just psyched that my passport has a shiny new Amsterdam stamp in it.  Off to lunch with my homeslices, or the ones who aren’t bed-ridden all day thanks to St. Patrick, and then OUTSIDE or Hamburg or something WITHOUT A COAT!!

Alive and (patiently?) waiting

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Patience is not my virtue.  (Neither is decisiveness, or self control, or a bevy of other attributes one would hope to possess, but that’s for an entirely separate therapy session.)  Luckily today has gone by faster than I was dreading it would– I now have less than 12 hours til my alarm goes off to get to the airport and I’m not exactly packed yet.  My Elementary German II Final went about as well as one could hope; I now have the language credit requirements completed for my major (the whole reason I’m here.)  In eight weeks I’ve learned as much as I would have in a year at Iowa, though feel free to not quiz me on it later.

Since I am writing this from the comfort of my oddly clean apartment  and not a hospital bed, it seems my staph infection will not actually be my demise (Is this one of those knock on wood times?  Where in five days someone will be eulogizing me: “She jinxed it on the damn blog!”  There’s always a plane crash tomorrow to worry about.)  While my hand still isn’t back to 100% normal, the swelling has gone down significantly and I should be able to board a plane tomorrow without setting off too many red flags.

D-Bag asked me if I was going to color my hair when I’m back home because even he has grown tired of my near-daily grievances over my faux-gingerness.  Sadly, I’ll probably just have to let the color grow out since any more chemicals would quite likely render me bald.  My freak amount of hair shedding has warranted being referred to as “The Yeti” a few times from aforementioned friend, to which I then usually grab a hunk of loose locks from my scalp and drape them politely on his lap.  If staph or a 35,000 foot plunge into the Atlantic doesn’t kill me, I’m quite certain one day his usually docile demeanor will come unglued and finish the job.

Some of my classmates are quite jealous of my short trip to America coming up.  We’ve discussed what things they want me to bring back (butter popcorn, Taco Bell, specific deodorant) and what I’ll make sure to do when I’m there just because I can (be obnoxiously loud in public, wear sweatpants outside of my bed, drive a car, FREE DRINK REFILLS!!)  Not gonna lie, pretty nervous about drinking American beer again– I can’t see it tasting any more appetizing than if I peed in a can.  Some more seasoned travel veterans have already warned me that my brain might go on English overload the first time I enter a mostly American setting.  The strangest thing is that after 12 years of hating few things more than flying, I’m looking forward to the flight.  Not just for my destination, but like being on the plane– the in-flight movies, the food (chicken or pasta?  For the first time I chose chicken on the last plane, um… not so much.)  From Chicago to Frankfurt I sat all eight hours WITHOUT GETTING UP.  I, Brittney, DID NOT PEE for eight  hours on an aircraft.  If you know me in the slightest, you will know what a David Blaine-like feat this was.  Not expecting the same tomorrow, but hoping for the best.  Obviously my dear minions, I’ll keep you well-informed of all mid-flight bodily evacuations.

I left my heart in Bavaria

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

Unfortunately no blog post could do my current feelings justice—there are no words for how much I loved Bavaria and how amazingly fantastic my weekend was.  (Also, just to set the scene: I’ve just embarked on the train ride back, and my exchange with the ticket man went flawlessly—huge win.)

Arriving in Munich on Thursday night, I was NERVOUS.  I didn’t know if I’d even recognize Sebas or if it’d be super awkward or if he’d decided he had better things to do than pick me up at the station.  <Note to the readers who’ve come into my life post-high school: Sebas (Sebastian) was a foreign exchange student my junior year of high school.  I was his best friend in America—we went to prom together and he was unrequitedly enamored with me.  We haven’t exactly kept good contact in the last four years, but I got in touch when I knew I was coming here and he graciously offered to let me hang with him in Munich.>  Finding him in the station wasn’t a problem; he looks the same only WAY MORE jacked.  He’s in the German Air Force and could easily kill someone with his bare hands.  I suppose one could say Sebas got hot.  It was after midnight so we did some catching up and then went to bed.

Friday morning we set out to explore Munich, a city that at first sight isn’t much to look at, but is now my FAVORITE (and yes, I’m including Vegas in this ranking.)  We went to some giant, old, gorgeous cathedral with a Glockenspiel that plays twice a day and little mechanical characters up that top move around and dance.  We did a ton of walking around and then we needed lunch (awesome perk of keeping company whose biceps are bigger than my head is that he constantly requires sustenance.)  Two words for you: Bavarian food.  Out of this world.  Unbelievable.  Died and gone to heaven.  We went to some adorable restaurant with long tables and benches (come to think of it, that was the seating everywhere we ate this weekend.  LOVE IT) and had Weisswurst and hot soft pretzels.  With the wurst comes a sweet senf (mustard) that is exclusive to this region and so delicious.  Sebas showed me how to properly eat it and we drank and ate and talked and I had a HUGE SMILE on my face because I LOVE BAVARIA.  Unfortunately, the whole time I was thinking of my parents and Neil back home who I wanted so desperately to be there because I seriously can’t put into words how awesome it was.

After lunch we did some more walking then went to a mall to buy me shoes.  I don’t know what kind of drugs I was on when deciding I didn’t need to wear boots, cloth clogs would suffice as my only footwear for the weekend.  Luckily Sebas is a self-proclaimed metrosexual and has more ex-girlfriends than 713 combined so was more than happy to shop with me.  After getting some flats and a shirt more suitable for our evening plan of going out on the town, we went to the Hofbrauhaus.  I’ve been to the one in Vegas so was pretty excited to visit the original.

MY FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD IS THE HOFBRAUHAUS IN MUNCHEN, GERMANY.

I died.  Life does not get any better.  My wedding reception will be at the Hofbrauhaus (this is only if they don’t let me just have the ceremony there as well.)  If for some horrible reason I procreate, my child will be named Hofbrauhaus.  Upon my death (possibly from choking on a pretzel in the Hofbrauhaus) please bury me at the Hofbrauhaus.

The place was PACKED on a Friday night around 9 pm, but ol’ Sebas fired up his perfect Deutsch and asked a group of four if we could join their benches.  He ordered us each a liter of beer and giant pretzels.  Now when I say giant pretzel, I don’t think you understand: this pretzel was the size of a tire.  Beer and bread?  I just went from six to midnight.  We each had another liter of beer (if you’re asking how my stomach fit two liters of heavy German beer AND a pretzel that could crush a toddler, I don’t know either.  It didn’t feel awesome.)  At a long table kinda near us was a group of four or five old Bavarian men, dressed in their traditional lederhosen and hats.  Sebas was in the bathroom or something, and one of them saw me with my beer so raised his giant mug to me and tipped his hat.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME—adorable.  I “Prost”-ed him back and continued making eyes at this fifty-something overweight bespectacled mustachioed rosy-cheeked Bavarian (who will now on be referred to as my German boyfriend.)  When Sebas returned he asked my boyfriend if I could take a picture with him and to my absolute delight he said of course.  After our adorable engagement photo was taken, he pointed to his cheek for a kiss and then planted a wet one on mine and then we hugged and it was THE CUTEST THING YOU’VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE.  He then told Sebas it’d been 30 years since he’d kissed a pretty girl, then one of his drunk lederhosen-wearing friends said he was jealous.  That man totally made my night.  After ze Hofbrauhaus we went to bar/ nightclub thing and drank lots and danced to American 90s music and German techno.

Saturday we drove (AUTOBAHN!!!) to Regensberg, a city about an hour from Munich where Sebas grew up.  His mom made schnitzel and pommes for lunch and his sister made some delicious cake especially for my arrival.  We went into town and saw another super old cathedral then walked along the Danube River.  And then, something wonderful happened:

I ATE AT THE BIRTHPLACE OF BRATWURST.

Wurstkuchl is a teeeeny tiny wooden restaurant that was producing some smoky scents akin to what I imagine Heaven smells like.  The bratwursts are much smaller than American ones (and about a million times even better tasting) and you can order them in 6, 12, 18, so on.  They come with sauerkraut and homemade spicy mustard and there are baskets of rolls on each table should you wish to make a mini-bratwurst sandwich.  The walls of the miniscule, low-ceiling dining room (there were maybe four tables in there) are covered with old photographs of generations of Germans with their bratwurst.  I may have lied when I said the Hofbrauhaus is my favorite place ever—this place was that great.  It unfortunately made me a bit sad because there is only ONE PERSON who I should’ve been eating at the birthplace of bratwurst with.  Luckily there is no way I’m not going back there multiple times in my life, so NPH and I can make this pilgrimage to bratwurst mecca together.

Later that evening we had an AMAZING dinner of Leberkasen (something about liver?  I was apprehensive, it’s essentially a giant pink log with crusty brown casing but deeelicious), pretzels (which his mom bought because he told her how much I like them, I love this family) and Kartoffelnsalat (German potato salad.)  This meal was amazing, perhaps my favorite of the whole weekend (and yes, I realize we ate like 20 times in three days.  Bavarian food is hands down the best in the world.)  SO FULL, but we had socializing to do, so got ready and met some more of his super cute friends in town at the Hookah bar.  After that we did some bar hopping, and I DRANK FIRE.  We had flaming B-52 shots and I only slightly burned my tongue because well, I DRANK FIRE.  If I had a bucket list, this would be crossed off.

Today was the last of my indescribably amazing homemade Bavarian meals, this time it was Knudeln.  Knudeln are the size of a tennis ball and made with potatoes and flour and I’m not sure what, then boiled and they come out a very strange consistency.  Squishy, almost gummy?  It’s super hard to explain.  They’re pretty bland, but not too bad served with a pork roast and lots of sauce (like a very thin brown gravy.)  After lots of talking and playing with their dog Ansel it was time to return to Munich for me to catch my train.

Pictures of me with my middle-aged German boyfriend to come!

Uf.

Friday, January 29th, 2010

I’ve been here just under two weeks, but it feels like a month. I started my intensive course this week. It’s essentially a general overview of Spanish history starting with the Romans in II B.C., and ending…? At the end of week one, we’re in the 15th century. I’m assuming we’ll skip ahead to Franco sooner or later.

I saw too many buildings/churches/museums/cathedrals/palaces this week to possibly recall. On Tuesday I took a cab over to the Macarena barrio with two girls from class to check out the muralla (giant wall) and Basílica de la Macarena (shiny church). This was not so much a choice as it was a mandate from our instructor. I’m not a practicing Catholic, but being raised in the church has served me well in this town. I can’t imagine how confusing Catholic customs are to non-Catholics. Being Christian wouldn’t help much— I know plenty of protestants and non-denominational Christians who still can’t quite grasp the Catholic mentality. And hey, I’m right there with them.

GOLD

One of several altars for the Virgin Mary in the Basílica de la Macarena.

Sevilla has almost as many Catholic churches as it does churro stands, and if you multiply the number of churches by the number of churro stands, that’s probably how many bars there are throughout town. My advisor was right when she said Spain is a very homogeneous country. I don’t know what the actual demographics are in Andalucía, but good luck finding a non-Spanish, non-Catholic in Sevilla. Coming from an upbringing in west-suburban Chicago and attending the University of Iowa, one might assume that I’m accustomed to racial — even religious — homogeneity. Still, I feel like I’ve encountered more diversity in my Midwestern homeland than I have so far abroad.

/tangent. I was going somewhere with that, before my religion blurb. So, the basilica: shiny, ornate, barroque. Holy crap (no… pun…intended?). It was interesting, in some ways pretty, but it was also the gaudiest, glittery-est place of worship I’ve ever seen. I would probably have a seizure if I went to mass there, or I’d just be blinded by a gold-encrusted Jesus.

I also went to the famous cathedral of Sevilla yesterday, which was not so glittery. Simply colossal. I think it’s the third largest cathedral in the world? Don’t quote me on that. Either way, the size of the cathedral and tall, arched ceilings are incredible. I wanted to get a photo with me in front of Christopher Columbus’ tomb with a cheesy pose… Leaning up against it? Pretending to mack on one of the statue men nearby? But I was with my class, so I resentfully restrained from doing so.

Alcázar

Gardens at the Alcázar.

So far, my favorite tourist trap/historic spot in the city is easily the Alcázar. It was constructed after the reconquest of Sevilla by the Catholics in the 13th century, but it’s all Muslim-inspired design. Estilo mudéjar. One very small part of the alcázar — the mihrab — remains from the original Muslim construction. The rest was built after the Catholics took over Sevilla. I received a pretty slanted, pro-Muslim education at Iowa regarding the Muslim invasion of Spain in 711 and the Spanish Reconquest. Although I’m not sure what to think of this era in history, since the rhetoric in my class swayed in favor of one group, at least the Catholics took heed from the Muslims when it came to architecture. Catholic architecture, at least what I’ve studied, is uninteresting, ugly and arguably dysfunctional. So kudos on the Alcázar, guys. You may have violently pushed the Muslims out of al-Andalus, but the Alcázar is quite nice. Bravo.

When I’m not learning history or being a tourist, I spend a lot of time here with the space heater. It’s freakin’ cold. As I tell everyone, these palm trees are deceiving. I triple layered my jackets yesterday. Dónde está el sol????? Why am I so pale???? Why, why??

Tonight, I intend to go out and stay awake past 2 a.m. Baby steps. I’ve met more people in my class this week, which is good. More people who are similar to me, and can’t function while in a constant daily cycle of drunk/hungover, drunk/hungover, like the majority of the kids in my program. Drunk/hungover is fine, durante los fines de semana.

I also went for tapas with my friend Emily the other night, which was great because a) she’s a fellow Jezzie, b) she despises leggings worn as pants, and c) it got me away from the space heater for a while. Hopefully we’ll salir juntas tonight, along with my new friend/neighbor/classmate Francesca. Francesca and I finally visited the churro stand at the end of the Puente de Triana last night, where we couldn’t enjoy our dessert without laughing because churros are so very phallic, and we are so very immature.

Essen/ Comida/ FOOD!

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

Although it snowed last night, it’s ridiculously warm out today (YEAAAA!!!), yet it’s currently raining while the sun is shining.  If Mother Nature were a pop star, she’d probably shave her head this weekend then check into rehab.

Let’s talk food: the Germans know what’s up with meals.  Their largest meal is at lunch, which we usually eat in the Mensa.  It’s about two Euro for a main dish and side; I usually get some sort of wurst and vegetables.  This meal will leave me ridiculously full for hours.  I’ve never before had the urge to go out and harvest crops by hand for hours, but after lunch in Germany, I always feel fueled enough for hours of slave labor without getting hungry angry until well after dinnertime.  Dinner (supper?) is always lighter, lots of households just have Abendbrot (night bread).  The biggest difference, at least for me, is the lack of focus on low-fat this and no sodium that.  You’re eating real food, not giant portions, but not restricting yourself from bread/ sauces/ real flavor.  They’re not the healthiest eaters (we’re much more concerned about getting our 5 fruits & veggies a day) but as a culture they’re not as obsessed with food as America is, and you can tell by the general look of people.  While many older Germans are overweight, very few of my peers are, and I’ve seen maybe two “obese” people in my almost month of being here.

I don’t really miss any foods from home (kettle corn from the movie theater is an exception, but I miss that even when I’m in Iowa City.)  Not to jinx myself, but my clothes fit better and my belts can go tighter since arriving.  This is thanks to:

1. I try to spend as little money as possible on food.  Also, with the ridiculous filling capacity of the cafeteria food (which isn’t great, but isn’t horrible– I’ve pretty much gotten to the point where I’ll eat anything put in front of me) I only need to buy a box of cereal and some pasta and/or sandwich stuff for my week.

2. The constant state of “Today just might be the day I actually die of hypothermia” has probably revved my metabolism, and constant shaking has to burn calories, right?  Actually, I walk a million more steps each day here, and it’s like a freakin’ Nordic Track whenever I step outside thanks to Luneburg’s inability to PLOW THE STREETS.

3.  I drink less in Germany.  (Shout out to my little brother would responded to this revelation with “Well that’s not hard to do.”)  Yes, in the land of beer halls, ales by the liter, and the setting of Beerfest, I consume less alcohol than in the months leading up to my trip.  This is in direct opposition to apparently every other person in my program– one kid said “I’ve drank more in the last two weeks than I did all last year.”  Before you start planning my intervention, may I remind you of where I go to school, with whom I spend my time (Seven “Today ends in Y so I bought a case of beer” Thirteen), and my sparkling academic record.  Also, it’s physically impossible to drink as much German beer as our piss water back home because it’s sooooooo filling, and it has higher alcohol content so it gets the job done quicker.  It’s also incredibly less socially acceptable to be inebriated here, whereas in Iowa City if you haven’t broken a bone or wet your pants while drunk at least three times before graduation, they might not give you a diploma.

Speaking of food and alcohol, I’m off this evening to Munich to visit our foreign exchange student from high school, my junior prom date, the one and only Sebas.  Say a quick one to the Man Upstairs that I get on the right train and survive the SIX HOUR TRIP from essentially the very north of the country to the very south.  I’m pretty excited because Bavaria (the region I’ll be in) is what we stereotype as German– liederhosen, ze Hofbrauhaus, giant pretzels, and apparently better beer.  Not sure if I’ll be blogging on my journey, but expect a full recap come Monday.

Weekend 3: Homeless

Monday, January 25th, 2010

Once upon a time there lived a very responsible first-born child who, while she could never be considered neat, always knew the location of her belongings and wasn’t prone to losing much except her mind on occasion.  This child was me, but folks, we don’t know where she went.  In the last six-ish months, my list of broken/stolen/ just plain lost items include: jewelry, a laptop, my glasses, multiple apartment keys, my debit card, three cell phones, a digital camera, my wallet (temporarily, though only found after I’d cancelled my credit cards), and probably countless other trivial to moderately important things.  Can I just say first: I do not do this on purpose. I do not know when this mental shift happened, when the cosmos aligned and I began leaving my cell phone in my car overnight.  I don’t like it, yet no matter how hard I try (and AHEM, Mom and Dad– I DO try, and let’s just NOT BRING this up lest you want to see my hereditarily low blood pressure go through the roof) I just plain forget/ lose stuff.

Now, onto why I did not go to Hamburg to watch my first European soccer game this weekend (which apparently was a-okay since “Below Mind-Numbingly Freezing” doesn’t begin to describe how miserable standing outside for the duration of said game apparently was.)  On campus, there is this place called Vamos Kulturhalle where concerts are held, barn dances, I’m not really sure– but it’s also mostly what one could call a “nightclub.”  It’s one happening place.  Friday night was the end of the semester party, since Germans are on a way different class schedule and are gearing up for final exams then high-tailing it off campus for at least a month.  Some of my amigos and I decided to go to said party, where long story short: I lost my keys.

AHA! — you’re thinking– she obviously is a LUSH and had too much to drink and wasn’t paying attention.  Well, maybe, but not really.  Shallow pockets + bulky sets of keys + shakin’ my groove thang = floor.  After lots of searching and really embarrassing “I don’t speak your language so am going to mime at you like an idiot” exchanges, I went home with one of my roommates who were luckily also all out enjoying the nightlife.  Here’s the issue: my bedroom door was locked.  My hypersensitivity to being abroad has me lock my bedroom every time I leave my apartment.  No one else has a key to it.  In America, this would not be a problem because we have spare keys for everything.  During orientation here, however, the housing lady explained how NO ONE has a copy of your key and Germans like to charge INSANE AMOUNTS to change locks around here.  Oh shiza.

Friday night I slept on the couch in our kitchen/ living room.  No big deal except I nearly froze to death, but that’s really just become a common theme around here.  After doing all my roommates’ dishes (because literally, there was nothing else for me to do) I went over to my neighbor D-Bag’s place to share with him my dilemma.  He called Vamos for me (since, you know, Mein Deutsch is slecht) but no one answered.  He was off to the soccer game, which I could now no longer attend due to not having enough money, clothes, bus pass, etc with me.  He did graciously give me a large hoodie to wear so I could make the trek across campus to see if anyone was hanging at Vamos (which they weren’t.)  It is at this point I called another friend from the program who lives only about a block away and gave him the heads up that a hoodrat was on her way to be entertained.

A giant THANK YOU goes up to this friend and his two roommates for letting me shoot the shit with them, follow them around, watch their TV, go to the grocery store with them, etc.  At this point I was expecting to be able to get into my room sometime before the end of the night.  This was only wishful thinking.  I went back to my apartment (ringing the bell each time, hoping one of my flatmates would be around to open the door) and had a bologna and barbecue sauce sandwich, and no I am not joking– that’s what I had for dinner every night this week.  And then I just sat there.  I doodled on some scratch paper.  I explored drawers and shelves I hadn’t really noticed before.  I did some more dishes.  Then, thankfully, D-Bag came home; he said I could come over if I was bored (two days later, he may now be regretting said invitation.)  I spent most of the evening there watching Forrest Gump auf Deutsch, eating some garlic bread he made me, doing some more doodling/ paper tearing/ since when do I have this weird thing where I can’t sit still?  ALSO he had a giantly-warm comforter since he’s some sort of freak outdoorsman and goes cycling into the mountains for days at a time that he gave me to sleep with.  Night number two: couch in the kitchen again (though much warmer.)

Sunday morning: more roommates’ dishes.  Eat the last of my cereal– officially left with only the makings for one or two more bologna/BBQ sandwiches.  D-Bag wakes up, I spend the next TWELVE HOURS in his apartment– watching TV, making and eating cornbread his mom sent him, talking with two of our friends who also come over, wearing more borrowed clothing to walk to the gas station, tearing up more paper, taking Internet quizzes, probably making him absolutely want to MURDER ME or himself.  Words cannot express how thankful I am (maybe I’ll give a more flattering blog alias) to D-Bag for everything he did for me this weekend.  If I were him, I would have kicked me out about two hours in.  Not that I was being horrendously annoying (or not anymore than usual) but he probably hadn’t envisioned his peaceful weekend  being invaded by this unshowered dumbass hoodlum who couldn’t do something so simple as to keep her keys with her at all times.

Night number three: couch in the kitchen.  While I had explained the situation to my flatmates, I’m quite certain they were laughing at me being closed doors.  At least they were quite polite to my face.  I had already e-mailed my teacher about my situation, that I’d probably be late to class since the Vamos Lost and Found doesn’t open til 9.  Since I was the only one in class Thursday, this actually worked out quite well for everyone else’s catching up purposes I should think.  At 9 am I walked to where I THOUGHT this lost and found was, but it WASN’T, and it’s at this point I got reallyfrustratedandwantedtocry but that wouldn’t have solved anything, so tried calling their office ONE MORE TIME, and by God they answered.  Mish-mash of German and English + we’ll call you at noon and you can come look at what we found over the weekend (apparently this happens ALL the time) = me not going to class, possibly going certifiably insane.

Lunch.  Bought for me by a friend who owed me anyway.  Phone call shortly after 12 pm.  They had my keys.  I got into my room.  It was quite cold.  I opened my laptop.  I’m doing my homework.  Thank you to everyone who helped me this weekend.  Overall, I was remarkably unconcerned– I knew they’d show up and I didn’t have anything pressing to do in the interim.  Obviously I missed my bed and being able to go grocery shopping– not being able to Skype NPH was absolutely the worst part of the whole dilemma, but it’s over.  Giant sigh.

Piropos and ass-grabbing

Sunday, January 24th, 2010

Before I arrived in Sevilla I mentally braced myself to live in a country that’s considerably less concerned with the politically correct than my own. In study abroad orientation I took away that a) Cat calls — piropos — are frequent and inevitable in Spain, b) Everyone in the world thinks American girls are easy and morally loose and c) That I can’t do anything about the piropos or the general misogyny, so get over it.

I wasn’t so worried about b), mostly because it’s not in my nature to wander home with strange men whether it be at home or overseas. Many of you know that I watch a lot of MSNBC documentaries, so I know better than to get friendly with strangers. The piropos in Spain occur from time to time, but it’s not like a girl can’t walk a block without a gang of men hanging out car windows and whistling. We’re strongly encouraged not to react to cat calls, understandably, although I sometimes find them difficult to disregard. In Iowa, if a group of hillbilly frat boys drives by in a Ford pickup and starts hollering, my natural reaction is to swiftly raise a middle finger and make fierce eye contact with the primary cat calling culprit. So far, I’ve managed not to do that here. I worry that perhaps the middle finger isn’t an insult in Spain, but some kind of nonverbal agreement that I’d rather not enter into.

Aside from the hollering and piropos, there is one piggish, slimy move that I cannot ignore — the ass grab.

I was pushing my way out of a crowded bar last night when some local bro boldly grabbed my rear. Mind you, there was no mistaking this ass grab for an accidental graze. When I say boldly, I mean this fellow had an asinine amount of nerve.

To clarify, ass grabbing isn’t a strictly cultural thing. I distinctly remember encountering this at the Picador in Iowa City — perhaps eastern Iowa’s only “hipster” bar — and not a place where I’d expect any skeazy creeps to grab at me like a bread basket at the Old Country Buffet. Unlike cat calls, physical contact penetrates the two-foot bubble of personal space that I prefer to maintain around strangers. Also unlike cat calls, physical contact, in my opinion, is far more threatening and demeaning.

Instead of flipping the bird last night, I simply turned around, looked the jerk in the eye (eep, I hope it was the right guy), and said, “Are you kidding me?” along with a few more expletives. As far as I’m concerned, I kept my cool, but I was still heated. Fuming. Ablaze. Conflagrant.

I don’t exactly know how to articulate the root of my disdain for such brazen physical disrespect. It’s the equivalent of someone walking up to me and saying, “We don’t know each other, but you are a woman, therefor my subordinate, so I can grab you as I please.” No, you can’t, and don’t expect me to respond kindly to it. Granted, I don’t want to get into any kind of physical altercation here — because I will lose — but, you know. I’ll swear at you.

In completely different news, I’ve turned my host lady onto Lady Gaga. This was wonderful initially, but yesterday she played The Fame album at least eight times in a row. Who knew there was such a thing as too much Gaga? I start classes tomorrow, and I was informed that I’m in the group that scored highest on the Spanish placement test. Although I speak like a gringa supreme, my ability to read, write and understand the language must count for something.

I do enjoy Sevilla thus far, but I’m still waiting for the day  I can navigate from point A to B without becoming hopelessly lost. The enormity of my program also doesn’t facilitate making good friends very quickly, but I’m finally starting to spend time with people similar me, who didn’t come here with large groups of BFFsssz and besties from home. If nothing else, I’ve already learned a lot. Namely how to say “hangers” (for clothes), specifics about the drug laws in Spain and all about the Roman ruins in the nearby city of Itálica. And really, that’s all anyone needs to know.

I want your love & I want your revenge

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

Ladies and gents, hold on to your hats.  I’ve decided what I want to do for Spring Break, and it’s a doozy.  Lady Gaga is playing in Nottingham, England on Monday, March 8th and I will be attending.  (Okay, so I haven’t actually bought the tickets, but I’ve slept on it, and you only live once, and she’s FABULOUS and it will be the show of a lifetime.  Besides the time I saw Slash.  She’s like my female Slash.)  The most expensive thing will be the ticket, but that money would have probably just gone to German beer anyway…. apparently a LOT of German beer.

We’ve just returned from lunch and four of the guys in my program are here at my apartment playing kicken.  Apparently you’re not just supposed to spin the handles to hell and hope one hits the ball.  I’m definitely acquiring some mad foozball skills, though I’m quite certain these people have only befriended me for my ballin’ apartment and Hulk-like ability to hold my liquor.  In all actuality, the boys here having discovered what most at home did a while ago, that I am essentially one of them.  We were window shopping in Hamburg the other day and I squealed “BOOTS!!!” when walking past well, some really cute boots, and my friend from New England (hereafter referred to as New England) looked at me as if I had sprouted a third arm.  Today at lunch we were discussing putting on a classy formal Valentine’s Day party, and I mentioned it’d be a perfect occasion to wear one of the dresses I brought.  Apparently this is just NOT conceivable and one of them actually said, “You don’t own dresses.”  Contrary to popular belief, I in fact do, and enjoy wearing them.  The word “tomboy” doesn’t really describe me, I’m just a girl who happens to sit like a guy and make friends with guys and contributes to mealtime conversations in which we all give euphemisms for Choking the Chicken.  If you’re into astrology, I’m your classic dual personality-ed Gemini, because OH BABY do I love Valentine’s Day, doing my hair, and Taylor Lautner.  Perhaps I was supposed to be twins but just came out as one and that’s why I’m twice as awesome.

Random thought of the day: I should have brought lotion.  My skin is flaking off a la Goldmember in Austin Powers 3.  Yeah, you liked that movie.

I suppose you’re all wondering how the basement/laundry shenanigans of yesterday went.  My lovely neighbor and friend (hereafter referred to as D-Bag because his name starts with a D and he is completely okay with this nickname) came over and gave me a quick tour of the basement, incuding where the light is, and how to use the washing machine.  ALSO he showed me the super secret far right machine which is FREE!  If I had to play favorites, which I don’t but it’s what I do in my spare time, he is my favorite person here.  This may be because he was here last semester also so already knows everything and doesn’t mind me following him like a dog to learn the ropes.  When ordering things in German, I generally just push him in front of the cashier and let him deal with it, or ask a million times before I go up to the bar exactly how to say what I want.  He’s also extremely handy to have around in the Getrankmart because he’s tried most all the beers and gives great advice on which taste like what.  I’m fairly certain that if the kids from last semester all had debilitating herion addictions, I would just start shooting up, too.  I wonder how they feel about having a whole new semester of students as their minions, or at least about this incresingly red-haired girl (WHAT is in the water over here?!) who apparently has issues with doing her own thing.

Oh, my test last week?  Got an A.  Duh.

A few days’ recap

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

I had planned on sleeping ’til 3 today, I guess 11:00′s good enough.  Drumroll, please… IT’S SNOWING again!  Thankfully I literally have nothing to do except laundry, and one probably needs laundry detergent for that.  While I had planned to put it off until the last possible moment (or as one of the guys here calls it, The Three Deep Rule: no need to wash your clothes until someone can smell you three people away) only having two towels and wearing all of my pajamas at once in order not to wake up myself shivering means I’m looking forward to at least one load per week.

My first week of class, which included my first test in German, went well.  One might say I even enjoyed them, save for the fact I have to catch a very unreliable bus to another campus every morning to get there.  After class everyday, we meet at the Mensa (“we” being the other Americans in my program and occasionally some of their German friends.  I usually see and WAVE at some of my flatmates, too– we’re making progress!)  The food is not great, but it’s not terrible, and it’s more of a high school lunch line than the seemingly endless options we had at the cafeteria in college.  They have really great salads, or you can always choose some sort of meat in some sort of sauce and potatoes.  Peas are also always on hand, usually noodles, two different meats (chicken or schnitzel, fish or meatloaf sticks– not their actual name, but apparently very similar in taste.) 

My Wohngemeinschaft (shared living: not really a dorm, but not quite an apartment) is the biggest and quite frankly more awesome than anyone else’s in my program.  Thus I have hosted visitors on occasion, which is nice, but kind of new since in Iowa City I was always the person who went to other people’s places.  Thursday night, my two “best” I guess you could say, friends here so far came over and we COOKED DINNER.  We were just gonna get some beers and a frozen pizza and maybe watch a movie.  While in the store, though, an air of domesticity must have breezed through and we picked up Weisswurst (white sausage, tasted like a bratwurst only WAY BETTER because we’re in Germany and they know what’s up with wurst) broccoli, and a baguette to split because I really can’t pretend to hate their whole “bread with every meal” philosophy.  One of the guys is also my neighbor, so brought over some potatoes he had and whipped out some chopped potatoes/ olive oil/ onions/seasoning foil bag that was mondo-impressive.  We watched Step Brothers (because the other guy brought his external harddrive and has lots of fantastic movies and I will ne’er be bored here again) and had our delicious family dinner and it ALMOST didn’t need the barbecue sauce I bought, but I used a bit anyway as a big Eff You to the country as a whole because my teacher told me, “We don’t like barbecue sauce.”  The Germans do this a lot.

I mentioned buying beer above, and would like to take this paragraph to try and explain the differences between walking into the Getrinktmart (I just butchered that spelling) here, and ol’ Liquor House back home (besides the obvious legality of me doing it.)  The store here is MASSIVE.  Entire walls are lined with every kind of beer (except the “piss water” we have back home) imaginable.  These beers are not in cardboard cases, they are in individual bottles (usually .3L) lining the shelves, with plastic pallets full underneath, if you so choose to buy a specific kind in bulk.  You just walk down an aisle, find one that looks good, take it.  Usually it’s between .80-2 Euro, depending on the type and quality (also, you can see the lines on the bottles where there used to be a label, but they’ve been recycled and used again.)  Either you get a basket or just walk to the front with an armload of bottles, and then hopefully you remembered your backpack or a sturdy sack because they don’t give you any.  Most kids from Iowa City would not fare well here– there’s no grabbing a 30 before you head to a party and splitting it with a friend before you go out.  If we’re pregaming at a friend’s house here, everyone shows up with 3-5 glass bottles for themselves.  German beer is SO HEAVY, in the stomach-sense.  You have one or two, it’s like a meal and you need a nap afterward.  A nice beer here is like a glass of wine back home– not weird to have one by yourself, maybe while reading or doing homework.  The whole mentality is different (not like we’re not having fun here) and each has it’s pros/cons that I internally debate on occasion.

Friday afternoon, I went with three others into Hamburg, only about a 20 minute free (with our student id’s) train ride away.  FELL IN LOVE.  It’s the second largest city in Germany, SO much fabulous shopping, a million times more energy than Luneburg.  We mostly just wandered around their main shopping district, then took the subway to Reeperbahn street and the surrounding area– basically their Red Light District.  Prostitution is legal in some areas of Germany, and apparently this is where you’d go to get it.  On the other side of the street are some great bars and restaurants and LIGHTS and perhaps reminded me of Vegas a teeny bit (sigh.)  We did some more walking/exploring/stopped in a restaurant that was playing FAMILY GUY for a beer.  We went back to Luneburg for a quick dinner, then went to a bar called Jekyll and Hyde.  FELL IN LOVE, again.  It’s a dark/ dungeon-y kinda place with an open fire and plays metal music (Ozzy, Metallica) and is just very different from anything back home. 

Yesterday was our mandatory Hamburg orientation with the group, so spent all day FREEZING around the city, having much less fun than the night before.  The first stop was the Hamburg Museum, the largest museum dedicated to any single city in all of Germany (possibly Europe?)  If I had to make a list of my Top Five Least Favorite Things, museums are probably on it.  Our guide spent over an hour on just the Middle Ages, then skipped way ahead to the early Modern Age, and concluded with a giant fire in Hamburg in 1842.  We then had some time to explore the museum ourselves, so I found the WWII stuff, which was (ironically? purposely?) in the basement.  We then walked to the harbor (and I mean TREKKED in below freezing, lots of wind, might possibly one of the most miserable times of my life) where we had a quick lunch then went on a ferry tour for an hour.  Obviously lunch was my favorite part– my two friends and I went to this tiny place where they served fresh fish sandwiches and wursts and I got a giant essentially bratwurst, they don’t do buns here, with mustard.  The ferry tour of the harbor was fine– at least we got to sit inside with the warmth and talk while looking at… shipping freighters?  And floating ice on water?  The time of my life, let me tell you.

We than WALKED (along the river= wind, setting sun= even colder, we taught our German director the phrase “happy camper” and how I was definitely not one) over an hour back towards a restaurant near the train station.  Along the way, we stopped at this olllllllllllllldddd church from the 1600s that previously had the highest steeple in all of Germany (Europe?)  Part of the church burned down in the Hamburg Fire, but was rebuilt pretty well.  Apparently we bombed the shit outta Hamburg in WWII however, and now all that remains is the giant steeple and some partial walls.  It’s now a museum/ memorial for peace.  This place was actually really cool– we took an elevator to the top of the steeple and saw all of Hamburg lit up at night.  Looking at the pictures in the museum, I was like wow that sucks, but it took a while for me to register that “we” were the ones who did this (I guess I’m so used to being like Damn Nazis ruining everything, but this time it was us.  It was a weird feeling, kind of getting a lot of those.)

FINALLY we went to dinner (after a quick stop in the Rathaus.)  We had pre-ordered and I got my first Weinerschnitzel.  Um, YUM.  A nice culmination to a not-always nice day.  Our train to Luneburg got us back… an hour after the last bus ran, so we stopped at Jekyll & Hyde for some beer jackets before making the 1/2 hour trek back to campus.  After a good 11 hours of sleep, I now have about five minutes of homework to do and the rest of the day in which to do it.

GOOD LUCK to Lauren, who’s finally flying to Spain today!!

As I sip a Hefeweizen…

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

German beer may have cracked my list of Top Five Favorite Smells.  Being able to go into the grocery story on a random Tuesday afternoon and pick individual bottles of delicious beer for less than a Euro has most certainly trumped anything else on my list of Top Five Reasons I’m Glad to be Alive.

A few observations of my time spent in Germany (all of what, five days?)

– German children are at least 100 times cuter than American children.  I’m not sure if it’s something in the delicious tap water, but these children are the most cherubic, chubby-cheeked, I just wanna steal one and hang out with it for a while group of kids you will ever find.  The fact that most of them get pulled along by their parents on old wood sleds everywhere they go might have something to do with it.

–Americans are loud.  Read: I’m loud.  In public places, at least.  I never thought it out of the ordinary until someone pointed it out to me, and then I thought of how inappropriate it would be here if I did as much shouting at people across campus as I do at home (maybe it’s equally inappropriate there and I just haven’t gotten the memo.)

–Bars universally smell about the same..  Also, an intense Pancheros craving will hit no matter if the nearest location is two steps away or halfway across the world.  Bar + some ambiguous time after midnight = yo quiero un burrito de Pancheros AHORA, usually always ordered in drunken Spanglish.  Lo siento.

–On a difficulty scale, getting by around here without knowing any German is remarkably easy.  99% of the people I’ve interacted with know at least some English, and if there’s ever a problem, nonverbal communication usually gets the job done.  Being born in a country where the primary language happens to also be a universally important one has been a huge blessing.  I’m also getting to a comfortability level where I can go into a shop alone and make transactions/ have conversations with my flatmates in Deutsch-ish with a good amount of understanding (they might secretly think I’m a complete dumbass, but at least I get what I want, and that’s really all that matters.)

I woke up at FOUR-THIRTY THIS MORNING.  Shiza.  Methinks it was a mix of going to bed earlier than normal/ being freaked out about my alarm not going off again/ FREEZING and my lower back and not be able to sleep in a curled ball position anymore/ I  keep having weeeeeeird dreams.  Not the refrigerator one again, thank goodness, but they always have to do with my past/ Adel.  At least from what I can remember each morning, I haven’t dreamt about Iowa City/ Germany once.  They’re also always extremely vivid, and never happy dreams.  Luckily this gave me plenty of time to eat a decent breakfast, shower, and talk to friends online who were just going to bed back home.

Class was, ugh I don’t know, class.  It’s great that we’re learning so much already but it’s over THREE HOURS long.  We start at 8:30 am, so by the time 10 rolls around I’m either starving again or would slaughter a goat to be back in bed.  Today we got out an hour early though because no one– besides Brittney the nerd– had bought the books.  After a lovely meal in the mensa con mis amigos nuevos, I went to Am Sande with two of them and toured the dollar store, got my visa photos taken (when a large German man is posing you on a stool then tells you not to laugh, not laughing is the hardest thing in the world), some other errands (including said Hefeweizen in the title, LOVE LOVE LOVE.)  I now have a Skype date with my Facebook husband and then it’s off to pregame (vorspiel, haha) bowling.

Guten abend!

P.S.  Lauren.  WTF.  This is not Brittney’s blog.  Get on it haha.

Cold

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

Everything in Germany is cold.  The weather.  My room.  The water.  The people (haha I kid.  Kind of.)

My flatmates are awesome, just kinda shy and aren’t sure how to get around the language barrier– just like me! Julian, who speaks the best English, asked me how my day was today and we haven’t really stopped talking since.  We started playing tablekicken (my new favorite word, it’s foozball) and added more people inluding our neighbor from LA who’s here in my program– so the homefront’s good.

Friday night we went to go bowling but there were no lanes open so we went to a bar.  Apparently I found the Iowa City of Europe (there’s more bars in this small town per capita than anywhere else on the continent except for Madrid, Spain)  so we just kind of hopped around.  First we went to an Irish pub and ITS’ STILL NOT LOST on me that I can order alcohol without fear of fake i.d.-bustage/ arrest/ generally elevated anxiety levels.  Also, there’s no open container laws here.  I’ve also been introduced to sambuca shots, black licorice (anise, for those of you higher class readers) flavored liquor (or as the Americans introduced it to me: It tastes like Jager but fruitier, kinda.)  There’s coffee beans in them for no reason at all and you have to remove them before you take the shot and then your hand is all sticky with sugar.  We then went to this underground bar/club thing where they had couches and played really loud techno (NEEEEIIIILLLL!!)  A very drunk fat middle-aged German asked me where I was from and I said America and he said I know, where so I said Iowa and then he walked away.

Orientation is mostly over THANK HEAVENS, at least the administrative stuff.  We filled out our visas yesterday and got a serious talking to about how to properly air out our rooms.  Because these buildings are so freakin’ old and have no ventilation, we MUST turn off the heater and open the window for at least five minutes at least once a day to dry out the moisture that our bodies produce (because our bodies are 70% water, as they reminded us …) so mold doesn’t grow and cause major cleaning issues/ certain lung cancer and death.  Also, when we wake up we MUST pull back our blankets from the bedding and air it out because DON’T YOU KNOW you sweat during the night?!  It will be a miracle if I do either of these things even a handful of times during my time here.

Last night we went to a bar/club place that looks like a barn/the Val-Air Ballroom/ ski lodge called Vamos that’s the kind of on campus place but anyone can go there?  Apparently they throw shindigs from time to time.  Mas sumbuca?  Of course.  Mostly we awkward Americans hung around and watched the Germans dance because they don’t touch each other.  Girls have zero problem just standing in the middle of the floor, dancing alone.  When a guy or their friends join them, they just kind of make the motions with a good amount of space around them– none of this bumpin’ and grindin’ stuff we American hooligans are into.  Also, they have a coat check (or robegarde, if I remember correctly) for one Euro.

Although Sundays are completely dead around here, the doner place (with the two dots over the “o” but I can’t figure out how to do it on my computer yet) is still open and we never did try them the other night.  People mostly go into Hamburg on Sundays (for burritos when they’re hungover– apparently the German version is quite hilarious) but the train’s not running today because of all the snow.  And then we’re going to my neighbor’s to watch movies and maybe have an excellent German beer because we have ZERO else better to do and because we’re all super best friends already haha.  But seriously.

 
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